holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize