Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
