I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
