I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
