uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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