Its about making memories worth repressing
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Panties = found
Randomize
