well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
