Your face is a jimmy john
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
