Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.

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  (810): just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe. http://tfl.nu/ayww
  Replies (11) Good night (5267) Bad night (585)
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  (916): View more from California

  Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

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  (916): Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms http://tfl.nu/1qb7
  Replies (27) Good night (12002) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.

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  (703): threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased. http://tfl.nu/r0ay
  Replies (14) Good night (1008) Bad night (4102)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...

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  (443): dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this... http://tfl.nu/lbrb
  Replies (95) Good night (7658) Bad night (1373)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.

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  (506): No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park. http://tfl.nu/t1o0
  Replies (7) Good night (849) Bad night (2344)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2785) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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  (505): I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight. http://tfl.nu/l9kd
  Replies (5) Good night (4087) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.

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  (818): I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment. http://tfl.nu/bcax
  Replies (8) Good night (2811) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.

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  (717): Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester. http://tfl.nu/ljr5
  Replies (10) Good night (3298) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.

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  (843): I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/lhf2
  Replies (28) Good night (1188) Bad night (4190)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

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  (253): Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning... http://tfl.nu/es8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2748) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them

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  (217): I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them http://tfl.nu/sgxd
  Replies (5) Good night (2127) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch

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  (213): Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch http://tfl.nu/21eo
  Replies (8) Good night (2344) Bad night (811)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.

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  (207): Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/jzfa
  Replies (2) Good night (579) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.

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  (732): I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster. http://tfl.nu/5e26
  Replies (14) Good night (2336) Bad night (639)

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