I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"