For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?