I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I need to sanitize my soul.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
