That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
