she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My dick has a subreddit
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
