If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
