Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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