My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
