I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
