I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
