Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
