This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
