he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
