I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
