Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.