Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
