Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (842) Bad night (1529)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?

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  (216): ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex? http://tfl.nu/h39u
  Replies (30) Good night (872) Bad night (4868)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

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  (870): I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance.. http://tfl.nu/o07j
  Replies (9) Good night (4699) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

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  (203): Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts? (609): And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud http://tfl.nu/gnmk
  Replies (15) Good night (5517) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?

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  (732): The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ? http://tfl.nu/0iqw
  Replies (11) Good night (4147) Bad night (1109)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."

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  (209): Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me." http://tfl.nu/89qv
  Replies (14) Good night (2017) Bad night (5060)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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  (703): Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/f3x3
  Replies (7) Good night (4420) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.

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  (703): They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait. http://tfl.nu/6f6p
  Replies (18) Good night (1176) Bad night (5339)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  ... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.

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  (419): ... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette. http://tfl.nu/oqik
  Replies (15) Good night (3297) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?

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  (+61): Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here? http://tfl.nu/9sbn
  Replies (2) Good night (1193) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?

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  (705): Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right? http://tfl.nu/0t3q
  Replies (20) Good night (3634) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates

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  (732): look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates http://tfl.nu/bp7h
  Replies (1) Good night (403) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.

  (415): View more from California

  Retirement sounds fun.

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  (650): Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea. (415): Retirement sounds fun. http://tfl.nu/wuz3
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline

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  (508): Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline http://tfl.nu/jw4b
  Replies (1) Good night (421) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.

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  (646): I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex. http://tfl.nu/fgxj
  Replies (3) Good night (250) Bad night (414)

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