no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.