it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best