but the lizard people decide everything anyway
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize