How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
