What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
