yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
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