he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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