I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
