what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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