Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
No stitches, just platelets and will power
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
