I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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