i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
