Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
