youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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