I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
