my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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