Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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