He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
