A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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