Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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