Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
