If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We need to get me chipped asap
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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