Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
