I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
