We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
