Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think your dad took our porno
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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