Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
