96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
40s are totally the cure
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
