I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
