i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
