proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
