Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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