shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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