Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
