just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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