i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
