she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
