i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
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We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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