if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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