why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
