I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
