Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize