My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
