garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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