Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
