I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I had to cum in my sink.
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