I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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