and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize